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Jan 21, 2013

Dear Esther,
I have been reading RR for a long time now, but just discovered “Dear Esther” and I appreciate your encouraging words to Christians. I am from Mauritius Island. I am born-again believer, but a Catholic! It was my Catechism teacher─a charismatic Anglican who led me to Christ when I was sixteen. Some years later I married and became a mother. I joined an evangelical church. It was so good there. I loved the way they pray and worship the Lord and the way in which the Word was taught. My husband was all right with my going there until a year later when my daughter had to do her first communion.

It was out of the question for all the family for her not to -- mine and his (even the neighbors who are like family). This is the reality of living on a little island that my daughter would not do her first communion. I tried to resist but the pressure was great. My godmother who raised me (being an orphan of both parents since I was nine) even became depressed. She just stopped eating and remained in bed! SO I CAME BACK to the Catholic Church and went through the first commumion ordeal and eventually later, for my son also.

To this day (I am 48 now) I’m still a Catholic but I never renounce to my faith in Jesus Christ. I know that I am saved by grace and do not believe in any of the Catholic traditions and doctrines. I just attend Mass every Sunday. I tried to get engaged in a church group, helping with children also accompanying adults who wanted to get baptized and join the Catholic Church, but I could not get myself to teach these false doctrines to others, so I stopped.

I read my Bible every day, praise and worship my Lord. I study His Word through the many Christian sites on the Internet. I know we are living in the end-times. I’m praying and watching for the Lord’s return, praying for the salvation of my family, friends and But Esther I have a big problem. I am not baptized. I know that I’m not saved by baptism but it’s the Lord’s command. So I’m living in disobedience am I not? And frankly I am suffocating in this Catholic Church. I often get depressed over this and have to go on medication. I’ve learned to resist it with the Lord’s Word. I live my faith, alone.

I feel that communicating with other true Christians would have helped me a lot. But Esther, after all these years it seems even more difficult for me to take a faith step and leave all this behind me. My godmother is 83 now. She has always shown a great love for me and did her best during my youth to counter my parents’ absence. She believes in God, I’ve helped her see the many false things that are in the Catholic Church. She made the salvation prayer but can’t seem to see God without the Catholic traditions.

My husband listens to me when I talk about the bad things that will soon fall upon this earth but always say that God is too good to let these things happen! My children are born-again believers. I encourage them to frequent true young Christians but sincerely Esther, there does not seem to be a great difference between the two nowadays. They read their Bibles but can’t seem to resist certain things of the secular world like music, partying with friends, etc. I think I’ve been long enough. I’ll stop here. Please pray for me, Esther. I hope that that you have understood my English.

Thank you and God bless you.

Cattie


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Dear Cattie,
Your cry for help is very much understood. What a tough situation to be in. Your graciousness to not want to offend your loved ones is very thoughtful. But you are experiencing first-hand how this tremendous compromise of your true faith in Christ is suffocating you. I strongly suggest you courageously take a stand and return to the evangelical church that you loved so much. Or find a new one.

Lovingly explain to your husband that is what you need to do. Encourage him and your children to come with you, if at all possible. Remind him how you left the church you loved to please him and all the others and since all the first communions and whatever else are now in the distant past, you would appreciate his understanding to want to serve the Lord the way that is right for you. It sounds like the biggest thing holding you back centers around your beloved, godmother, who raised you.

Regarding your question on water baptism, it is an outward expression of our faith. Of course you should want to honor the Lord’s admonition to be baptized. I encourage you to do so, but not in a Catholic Church. Being “disobedient” about water baptism might pale in comparison to participating in a Catholic Mass each week where the Mass itself is an affront to God. The entire Catholic Mass is based on the rejection of Christ’s finished blood atonement on the cross. Instead pomp and circumstance and unbiblical rituals are exalted. In essence, the Mass and all the other tenants of the Catholic Church teach that Christ’s sacrifice was not enough–that He needs the help of the Catholic Church’s dogma to redeem mankind.

[Jesus’ last words,] “It is finished!” And bowing His head He gave up His spirit” (John 19:28b).

Please think carefully about this and realize that others have stepped out in faith rejecting generations of traditional family religions. You know all of this in your head. It may be time (long overdo) for you to break this spiritually crippling cycle and take a strong stand for your Savior who sacrificed Himself for you. Imagine yourself the day you are face to face with Him. Facing any negative reaction from your godmother now may be worrisome, but try to keep things in perspective. You are really doing her no favor at all by enabling her commitment to a church that gravely distorts the teachings of Christ.

Your efforts to enlighten her may not have worked but that does not mean you have to compromise your faith any longer. You will gain new Christian friends once you are free of your involvement with the Catholic Church. You may not be able to do this on your own strength, but in Christ’s strength you can (trust the Lord with all your heart). You cannot control what others say or do, but you are responsible for the choices you make.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

I will be praying for you. Remember, Cattie, we can never please everyone. Our first loyalty must be to the Lord. Seek Him with all your heart. He will give you the strength to move forward. Let Him deal with your godmother’s reactions. Maybe she and others need to see you take a strong stand of faith for the Lord.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

In God’s love,

Esther

“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall” (Matthew 7:24-27).


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Dear Esther,
I became a Christian at 19 (felt the Holy Spirit, baptized) but soon after, about a couple of years later, I fell back into a sinful lifestyle (shamefully). God has brought me back slowly and now I’m truly committed again and I have repented. I understand God’s grace now on so many levels. I can’t believe he still would want me.

During that time I met my husband. He is not a Christian and is very hostile toward God. I’m realizing that God has to be number one and I feel my husband holds me back. I understand what Jesus said about divorce, so I will stay, but he is so aggressive about my faith and threatens to leave me to find a woman who would actually appreciate him, etc. He has even torn up my Bible.

I need to also mention that in the past he has been physical with me, but we’ve had counseling, so this no longer occurs, but the verbal and emotional strain is wearing me down. We have two children (three and a half and five and a half) and I couldn’t bear them losing their father. Since then he is much better, but is still struggling with his own baggage. He is now very rude to me at times and emotionally void. There are some good days. The kids were too young to know what was happening back then when the physical abuse was going on. If he hadn’t changed, I definitely would have had to leave for our safety.

There are moments of clarity and he sincerely apologizes and has really made great changes in himself. If he hadn’t, I would have left him by now. It’s the love that my husband and I have for our children that kept us together. Because we are fundamentally so different, it’s a struggle.

I guess I would like to hear your feelings about this and any words of encouragement and direction would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you, Esther!

Warmest Regards,

Needing Support


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Dear Needing Support,
After reading your letter the first thought that comes to mind is perhaps I should start a sorority for Christian women who are married to non-Christian men that they became involved with when they were at a weak point in their faith. The situation you describe is so prevalent, giving way to a new subculture of Christian women who are living in the midst of serious spiritual battles without a spiritual leader in the home. They find themselves living with a man who should be the spiritual leader, but instead used by the enemy to wreak havoc and disharmony, especially in matters of faith.

We cannot undo the past so we must make the best of our circumstances and it sounds like you are doing just that. We know that the best remedy against the enemy is the Word of God. Your spouse does not even know that he is being used as one of the devil’s pawns -- wearing away at you and the wonderful family God has blessed him with. Instead the “poor me” thoughts rule his mind. This is so common these days it is hard to take. The immature selfishness and the self-pity by unredeemed men (and women), is startlingly common.

This is because these people are so entrapped in the ways of this world and are sorely deceived into believing that God, the Bible and Christian principles are not for them and are nothing more than outdated babblings, tall tales and crutches. They are blinded to the truth. Their thinking is so flawed and the very God they reject is the only One who can help them. It’s the same old problem that Lucifer had when he rebelled and set out to try to take God’s throne: Pride and self-centered arrogance. The moral decline of society, the breakdown of family unity is astounding. We truly are living in the last days when the words in 2 Timothy 1-4 are headlining.

You are wise to realize that it is best to stay together, especially for the sake of the children. If you read through some of my older letters in my column you will find some similar situations and I urge you to read them. Prayer truly can change things. The fact that your husband loves and cares for his children gives me much hope that in time it is very possible that he will come to know the Lord and begin to truly appreciate you and the many blessings he has. Right now that seems impossible but it does happen. In the meantime, armor yourself with the Word of God every day. Try not to respond if he gets belligerent and don’t get caught-up in any toxic verbal exchanges. Quietly pray for him instead. It seems very unfair, but try to be as kind as you can to him despite his self-righteousness.

Focus on your husband’s better qualities and realize that each day we are closer to our redemption. Look around and count all the blessings you do have, often. The devil has a strangle hold on your husband. You cannot find this fight. It is God’s fight. Keep praying for peace in your home and when you have those overwhelming moments of hopelessness, go right to the Word of God and read. Read, study and pray.

You can carry on your personal relationship with the Lord in privacy for now, so your husband doesn’t blast you with some sort of verbal tirade. You will be strengthened, the more you study His promises. Quietly, live your spiritual life, especially when your husband is around. Keep praying for his salvation and know that God really does have your best interests at heart and that of your entire family. He is the ultimate restorer of relationships and life.

Outwardly things are not the way you want right now, but please take great comfort in knowing that you are completely safe in Jesus’ arms. Your future is so amazingly awesome and all this misery will not even be a memory one day very soon. These years here on earth are very disappointing to so many believers, but you have an indescribably fantastic future in the Lord to look forward to. God will bless you for your faithfulness and for being a devoted wife and mother. Be of good cheer. Jesus has overcome the world. And you are one of His beloved children. Even so come Lord Jesus.

In God’ love,

Esther

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us”(Romans 8:18).

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Zechariah 12:3,9:
And in that day will I make Jerusalem a burdensome stone for all people; And it shall come to pass in that day, that I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem.


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