People marry for happiness and peace and not for fighting and quarrelling. An ideal marriage consists of mutual love, respect, and understanding. Sri Ramakrishna and Sarada Devi demonstrated an ideal marriage in this age. They had a wonderful relationship. We have never come across any incident of bickering between them.
In March 1872, when Holy Mother first visited Dakshineswar, she had two concerns:
First, she heard that her husband had become mad, and second, she feared he might reject her because he was a monk. But these misgivings disappeared when she arrived one night at Dakshineswar at 9:00 p.m.
As soon as the Master heard of the Holy Mother's arrival, he said: 'O Hriday, I hope it is an auspicious time, because this is her first visit.' This means that he was thinking of her welfare.
Second, upon seeing the Holy Mother, he greeted her, saying: 'You have come. Very good!' This indicates that she was welcome.
Third, the Master told someone in the room, 'Please spread a mat for her.' There was no chair or sofa in the Master's room. The Holy Mother bowed down to the Master and sat on the mat.
Fourth, as soon as the Master heard that she had a fever, he became extremely concerned and arranged for her treatment and diet..
Fourth, as soon as the Master heard that she had a fever, he became extremely concerned and arranged for her treatment and diet. He then said: 'You have come so late! If Mathur were alive, he would take care of you nicely. My right hand has been broken [as it were, with his death].' (Mathur died in July 1871.) This indicates that the Master was apologizing to the Holy Mother because he could not serve her like Mathur, who had been wealthy and devoted to him.
Fifth, when the Holy Mother wanted to go to the nahabat [temple music tower] to stay with Chandramani, the Master said: 'No, no! It will be difficult for the doctor to treat you there. You sleep in my room.' The Master's behaviour and love overwhelmed the Holy Mother.
Then Hriday brought some puffed rice, which she ate, and then she lay down on the floor in the Master's room. Through all this, she realized that her husband was not mad and she was not rejected.
In the early days, when the Holy Mother lived in Dakshineswar, a maid would stay with her at night in the nahabat. One night there was torrential rain and the maid could not come, so the Master asked the Holy Mother to sleep in his room. When she arrived, the Master asked: 'Where is your jewellery? Bring them here.' The Holy Mother replied: 'I can't go back now. It will be all right.' This little incident proves how much love and concern the Master had for his wife, though most of the time he was in an ecstatic state.
To be continued
About the author
The author is the Minister-in-charge of the Vedanta Society of St. Louis, USA. He is well-known for his numerous books in Bengali and English particularly God Lived With Them and They Lived With God. His recent English translation of Sri Sri Ramakrishna Leelaprasanga titled Sri Ramakrishna and His Divine Play has received wide acclaim.