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Interpersonal Manipulation & Heroes
www.beth-peterson.com

manipulation     cults     intimate partner abuse     recovery & healing     power struggles     being a hero     autonomy     self-determination

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Welcome! This forum is about interpersonal manipulation (especially in its extreme forms) and also about how we are all the hero of our own stories, our own lives.

Highly manipulative relationships and groups include battering relationships, cults, and many others which are more subtle and therefore harder to spot. Being a healthy hero is centered on the opposite -- becoming as autonomous as possible and endorsing the autonomy of others.

Feel free to ask, to comment, and to share.  And please feel free to use a pen name! I know that a lot of times we want to keep our anonymity. 


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Subject:   Re: Re: Decision Making
Name:   Confused
Date Posted:   Aug 24, 08 - 7:59 PM
Message:   Hi Beth,

Thanks for the response. I do find myself on an emotional merry go round for sure. I love my husband....but feel like i'm just caught in a bad situation for myself. I'm not sure seeing a counselor alone is going to help my husband....or if it would help me set limits with him that may make things better? i'm not sure.

He gets upset over the dumbest things....yet tells me that I need to "shut my mouth" about all the expenses for hte kids and let him handle eveyrthing, and that he would then not be angry with me and things would be much better. I can see that from his perspective, but then just today his behavior was unacceptable at my family's party. He is VERY demanding. My parents didn't have milk at hte house for cake, and he got upset. He was upset about when dinner was being served because his son (who can drive, has money and a car) was "starving" and that my husband was going to leave and get him food if we couldn't have dinner a little earlier. I don't know how to deal with this behavior. It's selfish....and ridiculous...and strikes me ...that he is just a bad person and only cares about himself and the kids. I am utterly confused.

Lastly, I have read the article, but it doesn't really say HOW TO GO ABOUT not tolerating bad behavior because i think i DO tolerate a lot of behavior that i should not. Please let me know...

Thanks again,
Confused
Replies:    
Re: Decision Making by Beth · Aug 28, 08 - 8:30 AM


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