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This forum is about interpersonal manipulation (especially in its extreme forms) and also about how we are all the hero of our own stories, our own lives.

Highly manipulative relationships and groups include battering relationships, cults, and many others which are more subtle and therefore harder to spot. Being a healthy hero is centered on the opposite -- becoming as autonomous as possible and endorsing the autonomy of others.

Feel free to ask, to comment, and to share. And please feel free to use a pen name! I know that a lot of times we want to keep our anonymity.

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Subject:		Re: Reverse Psychology
Name:		Beth
Date Posted:		May 21, 08 - 5:26 AM
Website:		http://www.beth-peterson.com
Message:		Oh, very much so! There is a HUGE emotional component to most interpersonal manipulation, including reverse psychology. One of the things most of us forget, though, is that we do choose how we are going to react to something emotionally. Our emotions and what we do with them are some of those decisions / choices I was talking about earlier. You see, our emotions are based in our worldview and in our self-concept (or self-image). Let me give you an example from my own life. Long ago I met with a very skilled, very destructive manipulator. After I got away from him (with the help of friends and family), I was filled with rage towards him. I wanted vengeance. I could have dwelt on how badly he had damaged me. I could have chosen to feed the rage and desire for revenge. Instead, I recognized that in doing so, I would only be continuing to hurt myself. I would, in a way, still be playing his game. The game of destroying Beth. So, I took my ball and went home, lol. I chose to change my emotions. I chose to take the experience and force it to become a good thing -- I broke down everything I went through, listened to others, did research, and began working to help others who were being harmed in similar ways. I switched the rage at Cliff to (an utterly fierce) determination to confront manipulation as a whole and help others. The point here is that we can take emotions that are high;y detrimental to us, and through changing our own focus, we can change and re-direct our emotions. It is not easy. But it is well-worth the effort. One, because it helps us heal from past hurts and also protect ourselves from future ones. Two, because it frees up all the energy we spend in those negative emotions. An Three, simply by taking control over our emotions, it builds our self-confidence and internal strength. Hope that helps!

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