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This forum is about interpersonal manipulation (especially in its extreme forms) and also about how we are all the hero of our own stories, our own lives.

Highly manipulative relationships and groups include battering relationships, cults, and many others which are more subtle and therefore harder to spot. Being a healthy hero is centered on the opposite -- becoming as autonomous as possible and endorsing the autonomy of others.

Feel free to ask, to comment, and to share. And please feel free to use a pen name! I know that a lot of times we want to keep our anonymity.

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Subject:		Re: Am I being controlled?
Name:		Beth
Date Posted:		May 10, 08 - 4:04 AM
Website:		http://www.beth-peterson.com
Message:		Dear Distressed, It sounds like you may need to set some firm boundaries. You are an individual, with an individual's needs, as well as a marriage partner. However, also you need to be considerate yourself. Was there an extenuating circumstance to your husband's desire for you to both leave at the same time, such as you having only one vehicle or method of transportation? Marriage is a juggling of compromise. Look back over your life with your husband. Honestly evaluate... does he compromise with you on both important issues and the "little stuff"? Do you compromise with him? Do you both communicate what your desires are, without making the other person feel bad about having their own desires? One situation does not equal controlling behavior and attitudes, but it does give you the opportunity to evaluate your marriage. If it isn't what you want it to be, find some help like a good family counselor. It doesn't have to be broken in order to make it better.

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