Yes, that's me.


Interpersonal Manipulation & Heroes
www.beth-peterson.com

manipulation     cults     intimate partner abuse     recovery & healing     power struggles     being a hero     autonomy     self-determination

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Welcome! This forum is about interpersonal manipulation (especially in its extreme forms) and also about how we are all the hero of our own stories, our own lives.

Highly manipulative relationships and groups include battering relationships, cults, and many others which are more subtle and therefore harder to spot. Being a healthy hero is centered on the opposite -- becoming as autonomous as possible and endorsing the autonomy of others.

Feel free to ask, to comment, and to share.  And please feel free to use a pen name! I know that a lot of times we want to keep our anonymity. 


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Subject:   Re: What do I do?
Name:   Beth
Date Posted:   Mar 11, 08 - 8:09 AM
Website:   http://www.beth-peterson.com
Message:   Be careful not to go too far in the opposite direction, confused. It is easy to want to force the issue, but many times (and especially with teens) that can become counter-productive.

Rather than "punishing" by disallowing him time with his father (which is quite possibly the way they may both take it), find ways to show your step son how happy you are when he *does* study -- as teachers and child psychologists say, "catch him being *good*."

Things like a genuine, relaxed smile are rewards, even to teens. A special batch of cookies served while he's at the books, or time spent to listening to his opinions on things (not even saying anything about what he says -- positive or negative). You want him to know how pleased you are when he does study, not how disappointed, frustrated, or upset you are when he doesn't.

Something to remember: We CANNOT break old habits. We *can* REPLACE them with new habits.

Help your step children build new, healthier habits.
Replies:    
Re: Re: What do I do? by Confused · Mar 14, 08 - 6:57 AM


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