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Interpersonal Manipulation & Heroes
www.beth-peterson.com

manipulation     cults     intimate partner abuse     recovery & healing     power struggles     being a hero     autonomy     self-determination

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Welcome! This forum is about interpersonal manipulation (especially in its extreme forms) and also about how we are all the hero of our own stories, our own lives.

Highly manipulative relationships and groups include battering relationships, cults, and many others which are more subtle and therefore harder to spot. Being a healthy hero is centered on the opposite -- becoming as autonomous as possible and endorsing the autonomy of others.

Feel free to ask, to comment, and to share.  And please feel free to use a pen name! I know that a lot of times we want to keep our anonymity. 


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Subject:   What do I do?
Name:   Confused and Frustrated with Marriage
Date Posted:   Feb 2, 08 - 5:45 PM
Message:   Hello,

I am married to a man for more than 3 years now, who has been divorced and has 2 kids. I found myself in love with this man and enjoying every minute I had with him while we were dating, and that quickly changed once we got married. He wasn't the same person. Has a temper, flies off the handle easily, doesn't compromise, manipulates. He swears at me when i try to discuss things with him, calls me names in the heat of the argument, and never compromises. When I finally stood up for myself tonight, he swore at me and left with his 2 kids to visit with his family. i NEVER swear at him or yell at him...and always try to speak to him calmly about something that is upsetting to me but it always ends up turning into him yelling at me...when I was the one who was upset in the first place. I am so confused because he turns into this differnet person. I didn't mention that his ex wife is not a good mother and beleive taht he deals with a lot of guilt when it comes to that for his kids...and he bottles up his emotions.

What should I do? I'm so frustrated and feel manipulated...when i disagree with him about something he threatens that he's "not going to see my family for a long time."

I love him and never talk to him in a harsh tone or call him names yet he does with me. I feel like he has no respect for me and feel that he says he loves me, yet acts the way he does that does NOT illustrate that. He also blames me for "provoking him" when he gets angry and yells at me.

Please help.

Confused
Replies:    
Re: What do I do? by Beth · Feb 5, 08 - 10:50 AM
Re: Re: What do I do? by Confused · Feb 6, 08 - 9:54 AM
Re: What do I do? by Beth · Feb 11, 08 - 9:31 AM
Re: Re: What do I do? by Confused · Mar 2, 08 - 8:08 PM
Re: What do I do? by Beth · Mar 3, 08 - 7:41 AM
Re: What do I do? by Confused · Mar 3, 08 - 11:38 AM
Re: Re: What do I do? by Beth · Mar 4, 08 - 1:35 PM
Re: Re: Re: What do I do? by Confused · Mar 11, 08 - 7:21 AM
Re: What do I do? by Beth · Mar 11, 08 - 8:09 AM
Re: Re: What do I do? by Confused · Mar 14, 08 - 6:57 AM


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