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This forum is about interpersonal manipulation (especially in its extreme forms) and also about how we are all the hero of our own stories, our own lives.

Highly manipulative relationships and groups include battering relationships, cults, and many others which are more subtle and therefore harder to spot. Being a healthy hero is centered on the opposite -- becoming as autonomous as possible and endorsing the autonomy of others.

Feel free to ask, to comment, and to share. And please feel free to use a pen name! I know that a lot of times we want to keep our anonymity.

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Subject:		Re: Re: Relationships & the Web
Name:		peryll
Date Posted:		Aug 24, 06 - 8:29 AM
Message:		Dear Beth Thank you for your kind words of support. They are very helpful to me in my present situation. Never before in my life have I felt like I have a personal enemy, someone who genuinely wants to harm the essence of who I am as a person. I'm working hard to protect my self/my sanity and my assets. When he's tried to use other's to hurt me, or to color my actions in a light that is less than honest, I confront the issues with truth. If he brings other's to the conversation, I will speak to their concerns. This has caused him some consternation. However, I feel if he violates my right to privacy by discussing our business with others in a way that causes me harm then I have no other alternative but to let them know that there are two sides to every issue. For instance he used his co-workers (supervisors) to harm me, emotionally. He told them things about our personal relationship, then in the days following two them used that information to mock me, both directly to my face and to others, and to make fun of a situation that was intensely private and personal. I said to him, if this happens again, I will go to your employer and let them know what is happening. It did...and I did and the behavior has stopped! This has neither made me popular or well liked, but at this point all I want is to survive with some dignity intact. I cannot begin to put into words how this makes me feel, or how devastated or blind sided i've been by his actions. I've faced many challenges in my life, a child with cancer, a son with disabilities, the loss of a long term relationship, a layoff from a beloved and long term job due to state budget cutbacks, A new job, return to college etc. All of these changes have made me a resilient person, but there are days that I feel suddenly vulnurable and fragile. Thank you for giving me a place regain my strength and find support.

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