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Interpersonal Manipulation & Heroes
www.beth-peterson.com

manipulation     cults     intimate partner abuse     recovery & healing     power struggles     being a hero     autonomy     self-determination

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Welcome! This forum is about interpersonal manipulation (especially in its extreme forms) and also about how we are all the hero of our own stories, our own lives.

Highly manipulative relationships and groups include battering relationships, cults, and many others which are more subtle and therefore harder to spot. Being a healthy hero is centered on the opposite -- becoming as autonomous as possible and endorsing the autonomy of others.

Feel free to ask, to comment, and to share.  And please feel free to use a pen name! I know that a lot of times we want to keep our anonymity. 


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Subject:   Re: Re: Relationships & the Web
Name:   peryll
Date Posted:   Aug 14, 06 - 3:23 PM
Message:   Hello to all
I am presently in a relationship with someone I met on the web. We wrote and visited each other for over two years before getting married. Things went well for the most part for the first couple years after we married. We were busy forming a new life together and conflict was minimal. However, once his immigration status changed to a more permenent level. It was like night and day. Suddenly I was being threatened if I disagreed with his opinion. I was being screamed at if I asked any questions or if after a particularly stressful argument I asked if everything was alright he'd state.."there you again, making things worse" I feel like i'm in sinking sand up to my neck.
He manipulates information and actions so easily it's frightening. For instance, one manipulation that I discovered was, he'd ask me to park where he could see me when I'd pick him up from work. (we have one car). Then I overheard him tell a co-worker "See I told you she's always spying on me". At first I didnt get it...I thought.."when"? what's he talking about"? Then suddenly it dawns on me.....he's talking about me parking "where he can see me".. I was so shocked....and dismayed...from that point on...I didnt park where he could "see me", I just waited till everyone else was gone, before I pulled into the parking lot. Further angering him...why was I late etc.
I've never been involved with anyone who is so manipulative. It's like never knowing where you stand from moment to moment. His actions at times are subtle that it's hard to describe just how he does things that hurt. He uses his co-workers and they go along with it...because they have fallen for his persuasivness. I just feel like the "crazy wife"
Replies:    
Re: Relationships & the Web by Beth · Aug 16, 06 - 6:49 PM
Re: Re: Relationships & the Web by peryll · Aug 22, 06 - 4:14 PM
Re: Relationships & the Web by Beth · Aug 22, 06 - 8:05 PM
Re: Re: Relationships & the Web by peryll · Aug 24, 06 - 8:29 AM


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