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Re: Re: Re: new drama |
| Name: |
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CG |
| Date Posted: |
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Apr 10, 06 - 12:22 PM |
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*sigh* Well, he went back to her. I got home on Friday, and he was still at our house. He immediately came upstairs, and I filled him in on the phone calls and her threats to come over the night before. He told me that he knew she was crazy and that that was just the last straw -- that he was still feeling really strong and was NOT going back to her. I asked him why he had called her from John's house, and he said that he was only being nice to her because his stuff was still at the house, and he was afraid that she would destroy it or that she would go psycho on him when he went to get it.
I advised him to wait until the next day and let his dad go with him to get his stuff, and that way he wouldn't be alone with her and she couldn't manipulate things and get him back. I knew as soon as I said that, that he wasn't really ready to leave her, because he had gone from Monday to Friday without his stuff, and suddenly he couldn't wait one more day until his dad got home. He kept saying stuff like, "I feel like a hobo wearing the same clothes every day," and, "I really need my mail, because I owe some money," etc. When I suggested getting his friend John to go with him, he just mumbled something....basically, he wanted to go alone.
He still kept telling me that he was sure of his decision and that he was stronger than we thought he was, etc. He offered to go and stay somewhere else, but then added, "I mean, it would suck." I told him that I hadn't planned on staying at the house that night, whether he stayed or left, because I was just going to stay at mom's until the guys got back from their trip (which was absolutely ruined by Jennifer's phone calls and antics, by the way).
I told Kevin a lot of the things that Jennifer had told me when we were friends, and he just said," You don't need to tell me any more. I already know she's crazy, and I'm not going back. There's nothing you can tell me that's going to make me feel any more that way." I guess I should have realized that was his way of showing that he didn't want to hear it -- because he knew somewhere inside that he was going back, and it's harder to excuse that when you know the truth.
It crossed my mind that he might go back to her if he thought her harrassment was not fair to us, so on Friday, I made sure to tell him not to go back because of what she was doing to us -- that Norman and Jeff would be back soon, so things would be better, and that if he went back to her, it wouldn't help things...it would only PROLONG this process and make it harder on everyone involved.
Beth, I think he is totally addicted to her. I know that she has beaten him down, and I feel bad for him because of that, but we are all completely exhausted.
I tried to give him advice, but maybe I was too pushy...I don't know... and honestly I'm the last person he's going to listen to, because I was the first one that she turned him against. Jeff said it was almost like she KNEW the men were going out of town...the timing was so perfect, and she didn't start the incessant calling and threats to come over until I was there by myself.... ugh! I had no choice but to get involved even though I've been avoiding it the past few times. There was no way to avoid this and let the guys handle it, because they weren't THERE!!!
Anyways, Lathan and I went home on Sat. before naptime, and Kevin was still there. He had stayed the night, so I was relieved. I did see where Jennifer had called at 10:08 the night before, and I later found out that she had called Norman's cell again and had told Norman to ask Kevin to leave $400 on his car and she would come pick it up (to pay her bills...since she doesn't work). At about 11:00 on Sat, the phone rang, and it was Jennifer's mom. She left a message for us to tell Kevin to call her. I told him, and he said, "I don't even want to call her back." I didn't know what to say. Then he said, "Well, I'm gonna go run some errands later, and I'll just call her from a pay phone."
He wouldn't tell me where he was going when he left, he just said," I'm just goin out and about. I'll be back later, I promise, Cory." and then left. He didn't come back. He didn't even call until 11:00 at night, and that was a message on his dad's cell phone (I'm sure he knew he'd be in bed by then). He never thanked us or apologized for the drama and amazing inconveniences. I guess he is embarrassed...I dunno.
Surprisingly, he did call his dad last night about a job that they were supposed to do together, and they went out to look at it. I sent a letter with Norman, and he gave it to him. I just basically told him that we still love him and that nothing that has happened over the past 3 -4 years will erase what we knew of Kevin before Jennifer was around. I told him that he was welcome to come and stay with us the next time, but only if he got an Order of Protection against Jennifer. I told him that it doesn't make any sense for him to tell me that he's only being nice to Jennifer so that she won't go psycho on him or destroy his stuff and then turn around and act like we don't need to protect our home and our family.
I told him that we missed him and loved him, but that we had to think of our own health and safety too, so until he was willing to do that (get the Order of Protection), we would know that he wasn't really serious about taking the steps to get her out of his life.
I feel so many emotions right now, Beth. I'm sad, because last night my husband told me that his brother is dead to him right now. They used to be best friends. I'm relieved, because I know that Kevin will not come back to our house the next time, so we won't have to deal with Jennifer anymore. I'm scared for Kevin and miss who he used to be. I'm confused about whether I did the right thing. I'm angry that Jennifer probably knows that she got to me...and probably set out to do just that. I'm hopeful that she seems to be doing this more and more often...and her ex said that it was like that "at the end." (Course, I think he continued to pay for her car for two years after the end, but...)
Just pray that he will make it through this. We were really hopeful that this was really it, but I think it will just have to be on her terms. She must be a truly miserable person.
*sigh*
-Cory |
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This forum is about interpersonal manipulation (especially in its extreme forms) and also about how we are all the hero of our own stories, our own lives. 
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