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Interpersonal Manipulation & Heroes
www.beth-peterson.com

manipulation     cults     intimate partner abuse     recovery & healing     power struggles     being a hero     autonomy     self-determination

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Welcome! This forum is about interpersonal manipulation (especially in its extreme forms) and also about how we are all the hero of our own stories, our own lives.

Highly manipulative relationships and groups include battering relationships, cults, and many others which are more subtle and therefore harder to spot. Being a healthy hero is centered on the opposite -- becoming as autonomous as possible and endorsing the autonomy of others.

Feel free to ask, to comment, and to share.  And please feel free to use a pen name! I know that a lot of times we want to keep our anonymity. 


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Subject:   Re: Re: new drama
Name:   CG
Date Posted:   Apr 7, 06 - 12:31 PM
Message:   Thanks...again....and I'm guessing that his doubt is becoming overwhelming. John's girlfriend emailed me today and said that Kevin called Jennifer from his house last night. He told John that she is being really nice to him, but that he still doesn't want to go back.

The DARE officer at my school just came in and talked to me about it. She said that basically, since Kevin has had dialogue with Jennifer, we have no way to protect our family, and as long as he is living under our roof, Jennifer has the right to call or come by any time she pleases. *sigh*

Marge (the DARE officer) said that she advised us to get him out of the house (in order to protect ourselves) and to tell him that we love him, but until he is really ready to get Jennifer completely out of his life, he cannot stay with us. She said that we need to require that he get an "Order of Protection" against Jennifer before allowing him to stay with us again.

I think you are right about Jennifer, though, and I don't think an Order of Protection would be enough. I think she is going to harrass him until she finds other people to harrass, and even then, she may check in every once in a while. Who knows how long that could take....

I don't think Kevin would be willing to move away. I may tell Jeff to suggest that. I am having the most unChristian thoughts about that girl right now....*evil chortle*....I'm joking, but situations like this really do make you question if there is ANY good in some people at ALL. :(

I keep going back and forth from thinking I want to say this and that to Jennifer (which would only let her know how much she's getting to me)... or, "if I could only say this to Kevin..." I don't know what I can say to Kevin and what I can't, so I've just been letting Jeff and Norman handle it.

I have tried so desperately to stay out of this, Beth....but she is not happy torturing ONLY Kevin..she has to involve everyone else too.

It is just so disheartening.

Thank you for giving me a place to vent and for the wonderful advice. I don't know what I would do without this...

I'll keep you posted. My computer at home is not working, so it will be Monday before I can get back. I'm staying at my mom's tonight...whether Kevin is at the house or not (they're having a hard time reaching him at work). Jeff and Norman will be back on Sat, so hopefully things will be better by then. :)
Thank you so much again,
-Cory
Replies:    
Re: Re: Re: new drama by CG · Apr 10, 06 - 12:22 PM
Re: new drama by Beth · Apr 10, 06 - 1:20 PM


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